I kept playing after that, not obsessively, but with a new sense of purpose, a new belief that maybe I could do this, maybe I could find a way to make my situation better without having to sacrifice everything I had left. I’d come home from a long day of cleaning, make myself a cup of cheap coffee, and settle in for an hour or two of Vavada casino games, and I’d feel the stress slowly drain out of my shoulders, the knot in my chest loosening with each spin.